Having a Baby: The First Few Weeks of Parenthood

Being at home with your newborn baby is usually a wonderful time, but it can also be chaotic and exhausting. 

Life with a new baby is demanding and unpredictable. This makes it hard to find time for your own needs – even things as basic as having a shower or making your own meals. You’ll be tired, and sometimes overwhelmed. It may feel as if you have no control over your life. 

This is normal. It doesn’t last. By six to eight weeks, you’ll start to get more organised. By three to four months, everything will be more settled. 

How to survive the early weeks

• Try and rest or sleep during the day when the baby sleeps
• Do as little as possible. Keep housework to a minimum (you and your baby are more important)
• Get your partner to bath and change the baby – it gives you a break and helps the baby get to know both parents
• Remember your relaxation techniques. Use the techniques if you feel edgy or when you want to rest
• Keep food simple, as you won’t have time or energy for much cooking. The simplest meals are often the healthiest, such as salads with some lean grilled meat or fish, canned fish or cold chicken with wholegrain bread. Snack on fresh fruit and yoghurt
• If friends drop in, ask them to give you a hand if there are things to do like shopping or putting out the washing. Most people like to feel useful
• Fresh air and gentle exercise such as taking the baby for a walk can help you feel less ‘housebound’
• Remember that if you don’t care for yourself, you’ll be in no shape to care for anyone else.

All new parents need support, especially if you don’t have family close by or you’re a single parent. Don’t be afraid to ask for, and accept, help.

Many new parents feel overwhelmed by the first few weeks of family life, and so do many babies. Your baby has left that snug, dark place inside you and arrived in a strange and sometimes scary place full of unfamiliar sights and sounds. 

Important things to remember about new babies

• You can’t spoil a newborn baby. Crying is your baby’s only way of letting you know that he or she needs you. Babies aren’t old enough to be naughty or to try to get their own way
• All babies cry. Some babies cry more than others. Some cry more than you would think possible. The afternoons and early evenings are often the worst.
• Comforting your baby quickly when he or she cries helps your baby feel safe. Babies who are comforted when they are upset and get what they need quickly – a feed, a dry nappy, a cuddle – tend to cry less
• Remember that although this is your baby, the relationship between you both is new. When we meet someone new, it takes time to get to know how they behave, what makes them upset and how to comfort them. It’s the same with babies… even if you’ve had a baby before
• The chaos of the first few weeks doesn’t last. Your baby will gradually get into a more regular pattern of sleeping and eating
• It is very important that babies live in a completely smoke-free environment. Babies exposed to cigarette smoke have a much greater risk of respiratory problems and SIDS.

What if the baby won’t stop crying? 

It can be very stressful when nothing you do seems to comfort your baby.

• First of all, check that your baby isn’t hungry, isn’t too hot or cold, and has a dry and clean nappy
• Remember that babies are like anyone else – it can take time to calm down when you’re upset
• If your baby is unsettled during the day, try putting him/her in the pram and going for a walk in the fresh air to calm you both. If that’s not possible, skin-to-skin contact often soothes. If this does not help, put your baby in a safe place (their bassinet or cot) and call someone to come and help you. Often, babies respond to someone other than their mothers if they’re particularly unsettled
• If no-one else is at home you may need to call a friend or family member and ask them to come over. If they are not close by, sometimes putting the baby in the car and driving to someone else’s place will help.